The Secret Sunset of Rock : Insanely Great Records from the 2000s

You know, I still can't figure out exactly when Rock n' Roll died. Or at least when it went into a persistent vegetative state. It seems like an important thing to determine, but it seems like no one even cares to check anymore. That's something that needs to be remedied if the music is ever to live again. 

It's strange: I was outside today, enjoying the insanely beautiful weather and shoveling mulch (if want to get into the best shape of your life, just shovel mulch) it occurred to me I was still going to shows and buying records in the 2000s, but then it all just kind of fell off. Is it me just getting old? 

I don't think so. I was looking for shows to go to recently and everything looked very grim and unexciting. There's a problem with the culture, just as there is with pretty much everything.

So what the Hell happened? When did Rock die, and who murdered it?

No, that was someone else.

In looking at a lot of these records we're going to talk about, it did occur to me that most of them came out before the Great Recession. And most of them were made when GenXers were still kicking around. And a lot of them came straight out of Brooklyn, when Brooklyn was really happening. 

The good news is there's a lot of great music you might not have heard, music that somehow still resonates in a way today's micro-marketed music does not. And we may still simply be in a lull, and not the death phase. The music could come back, particularly if the TechnoBabylon system that was installed during the Obama years s to falter - or God willing - implodes.

I'm still trying to work this all out, so in the meantime here are my favorite albums from the 2000s, in absolutely no order whatsoever. Order is for poseurs. 

Mastodon, Crack the Skye  There have been times when I've been tempted to give up on Metal entirely, since so few bands can hit the broad side of a tune anymore, or even a memorable riff. I wasn't sold on Mastodon's debut, but this became a complete addiction. Like Queens of the Stone Age, Mastodon captured the spirit of 70s Metal/Hard Rock without succumbing to its well-worn cliches. 

Absolute genius, and one of the best albums ever recorded by anyone, at any time.

Killing Joke - Hosannas from the Basements of Hell  Their 2003 comeback was pretty epic, but the David Icke-on-meth lyrics and Nu Metal riff-o-mania make it a bit less addictive than this grimy, greasy bombardment of Non-Euclidean occult noise. Sure, the mix is questionable and the songs are all at least a minute too long, but every time I took this album on my walkabouts those filthy, arcane guitars would speak to me. 

They told me terrible, unspeakable things.

Mission of Burma, The Obliterati  The 2000s were the decade of the post-punk comeback. These Boston legends came back before, but only at half strength. But The Obliterati opened up a portal back into my youth, when the world was still fresh and new and the streets of Boston were mine for the asking. A veritable time machine of an album. Pounding, postmodern punk-prog masterpiece that includes Rock's only love song to a Sumerian goddess. 

That I'm aware of, at least.

Ladytron, Witching Hour  This here's an album that me and my girls all enjoyed together. An eerie synthesis of Eighties Electropop and Nineties Shoegaze, dressed up with minimalist yet extremely enigmatic lyrics dripping with witchy significance. 

 

Wire, Send   These Brit punk/post-punk legends disappeared up their own asses in the Nineties but then stormed out of nowhere with their angriest, most aggressive album ever (as well as some equally great EPs). Same pop hooks, but a renewed focus and a sandblasting punk-metal sound. Their 2008 followup Object 47 is just as good, if less attention-grabbing.

Santigold, Santogold   This was a total surprise; the most 1980 album ever made, an album that cobbles together every great riff and idea from that pivotal year without succumbing to some of the tired Boomer tropes that still lingered here and there back then. Every song on this record would have packed the dance floors at Spit or the Peppermint Lounge, believe it. I'm sick to death of most 1980 records, so this is a nice way to soak up the vibes with songs I haven't played into a fine powder yet.

Queens of the Stone Age, Songs for the Deaf   A stoner-rock classic yanked out of an other-dimensional 1974 and polished with post-Grunge elan. Kind of like the album an alternate reality Blue Oyster Cult would have followed up an alternate-reality Tyranny and Mutation with. Dave Grohl drives it all along with his pounding kick-drum. I knew every song by heart the first time I played this album. Magic.

Sigur Ros, ( )  One of those albums that makes an act's other albums inessential, at least for me. Not that I didn't like their earlier work, but this album defines Sigur Ros in my mind. Every note is painfully beautiful. These guys claim they hadn't heard the Cocteau Twins until just a couple years ago but you'll realize they're filthy liars about 40 seconds in. A must-have for mellow, mindful music mavens. 

Beck, Sea Change  This was an unlikely addiction for me. I've always been iffy on Beck and this could be seen by some as a Seventies singer-songwriter leftover. But the melancholy is genuine (the songs all deal with the breakup of his marriage) and the melodies and arrangements are clever and strong. Incredibly solid and moving.

Andrew WK, I Get Wet  God damn, I love this album. Is it Punk? Is it Metal? is it self-parody? Is it a desperate cry for help? I don't know and I don't care. All I know is that rocks like all Hell and instantly sticks in your head like bubblegum on your shoe on a hot day. And only someone as intelligent as AWK could write lyrics as stupid as these. One of the top five best Hard Rock albums of the 21st Century.

Interpol, Turn on the Bright Lights. As a sometime Rock critic I can tell you with unimpeachable authority that roughly 98% of Rock critics are the dumbest fucks on the planet. Hence the party line that Interpol was doing a postmodern take on Joy Division (who were great but couldn't play their instruments to save their lives) when anyone with any Post-Punk cred realized right away that they were actually doing a New York hipster take on The Chameleons UK.  

Interpol's first hit "PDA" is a virtual rewrite of the UK postpunk legend's 1985 classic "Perfume Garden." I lost interest when they moved on to ripping off other artists but luckily Drab Majesty came along and picked up the Chameleons fanboy cudgel.

The Darkness,  Permission to Land   This is a good companion to I Get Wet in that only someone as smart as Justin Hawkins could make a record this brilliantly stupid. Hawkins is not only very smart and very funny (subscribe to his YouTube show here) he's a phenomenal guitarist and songwriter. As a singer? Not so much, hence the goofy falsetto. But this is an even more explicit example of what I'd noticed about OG Van Halen: The Darkness were throwing a party everyone was invited to and telling a joke everyone was in on.

The Go Team, Thunder Lightning Strike!  OK, I have this thing - it's not quite a fetish - for cheerleading chants in songs. "Be Aggressive" by Faith No More and "Aunt Lisa" by Mastodon are two of my favorite examples, but Go Team went a step further and built a style around it in their early days. Combine that with Mike Post mood and ABC Wide World of Sports riffs and you got some major Chris bait. It's impossible to be sad listening to this album.

Oh, I nearly forgot: 'Adult Education' by Hall and Oates is another one.

Queen Adreena, Drink Me  I discovered this band on account of they had one my favorite drummers of all time - Peter Howard of The Clash Mark II - slamming the cans. He's in full caveman mode with this Noise-Rock outfit, which grew out of late Eighties UK Punk outfit Daisy Chainsaw. 'For I Am the Way' is one of those songs you probably heard in your dreams a thousand centuries before Eternity.

Murdery McCIAwhore and her fake Grunge band stole quite a lot of her style from Daisy Chainsaw, especially singer Katie Jane Garside's babydoll-gone-to-seed look. Kudos to Katie for not letting her get away with it.

There's also some LA band ripping off Adreena now but their name totally escapes me on account of they are very lame.

Disturbed, Believe  OK, here's where I lose all credibility with half my readers, but I don't care. I love this album and it got me through some particularly dark times in my life. That's something a lot of people don't realize about Metal and loud guitar music in general - the catharsis. It can be quite therapeutic under the right circumstances.

Anyway, this is a very tight and hooky set of Nu Metal that is more consistent than their debut, even if it doesn't have anything as essential as "Stupify."

Mahogany, Connectivity  OK, I admit it: I discovered this album because of this track, which features the Sibyl's daughter on vocals. But it's a truly great album bursting at the seams with creativity, chops and dream reality. There are a lot of echoes of bands like early Talking Heads, Stereolab, Penguin Cafe Orchestra, 154-era Wire, pre-Dark Side Pink Floyd and dozens of others. If you like arty and pretentious but very catchy and tuneful Art Rock you are in for a wonderful surprise. Just a great, great album.

One of their songs was used on an Apple commercial back in the day - you'll recognize it straight off.

SINGLES GOING STEADY

OK, that's the albums. I've probably forgotten something really important, so I'll have to slyly paste it and then gaslight you if you try to accuse me of forgetting it. Let's listen to my favorite singles, since there a lot of them. I can't keep track of where I first heard them anymore but does it really matter? It won't make us any less depressed, or any less wistful for a time when everything we cared about wasn't dead or dying.

With that in mind, let's rock!

The Killers 'Mr. Brightside' I hate what The Killers became with a passion I usually reserve for Bono, probably because The Killers actually became U2. But this song is one of those numbers that when it comes on your car radio you stop everything you're doing and give it your full attention. I lived this song at certain times in my life - and so did you - so it's especially acute.  



TV on the Radio 'Wolf Like Me'  So much of this music seems to have come out of Brooklyn, mostly by late GenXers and early Millennials, who are essentially Xers in spirit. More early Eighties revivalism, which sits just fine with me.

TV on the Radio w/ David Bowie 'Province' This song rips my guts out and I'm not sure why. It's just an incredibly beautiful melody bolstered by a rich arrangement. Bowie was in seclusion at the time so it was great to hear him on such a killer track.

MGMT 'Kids' Some fans made this video and it kills me. My own kids - the older ones, at least -were grown up and I felt the lost innocence of this clip like a machete to the heart. Then MGMT turned around and made a total fucking asshole video for this song like a couple of total fucking assholes. Then they killed their careers with a string of smug, pretentious flops.

It's like my grandma used to say: rich preppie assholes on acid should be randomly and regularly subjected to broken-rib beatings, just to keep them humble and grounded. Otherwise they crawl up their own asses and kill their careers, like these idiots did. Was she right? Give me your opinion in the comments.

Feist 'Mushaboom' I don't know why, but this song reminds me a lot of 'Brand New Key' by Melanie, only without the unsubtle sexual innuendo. At least I think without the unsubtle sexual innuendo. Nothing Feist did this after grabbed me, but sometimes you only need to do a 'Mushaboom' and seal your rep thereafter.



Taxi Taxi 'Family Doctor' Another neo-New Wave outfit about whom I know absolutely nothing. Only that I love this track and several others off this album. Where are they now? Why are you asking me? I just said I know absolutely nothing about them.

Wait: I think they were from Brooklyn too. So I guess I know one thing about them.

VHS or Beta - 'Can't Believe a Single Word' This is one of those songs that could have been released at any time from 1982 to 2022 without changing a single note. Or word. 

Don't know anything else they did, but I really don't think I need to. This suits me just fine, thank you.

Stars - 'The Night Starts Here' Fuck the 21st Century. Sideways, with a rake. I mean that in general, but also because a lot of very promising bands popped up with some very solidly-crafted neo-New Wave pop and the demonic vessels who control the music industry did absolutely nothing to support them or nurture them. As a result we have people thinking Greta Van Fleet - or as I like to call them, Nerd Zeppelin - are Rock's last hope.

I think this band was Canadian. Great song. Reminds me of something Lee Hazelwood and Nancy Sinatra might have recorded if they weren't so cringe.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs 'Maps' You know this song, you love this song. Need I say more? Only that Karen O was involved in the music for the Hanna series, which OG Sunsters realize the significance of. Also I wasn't super crazy about this album. It was OK.

The Naked and The Famous 'Young Blood' More neo-New Wave, this time from New Zealand. I bought the album and liked it, but nothing killed quite like this track. The title is not a reference to what Hillary Clinton is having for supper tonight, at least as far as I know.

M83 'We Own the Sky' Another song and video that smashed me to pieces and left me sobbing like a little bitch on the sidewalk. Especially over the budding romance between Curlytwink and Turbo-Cute Eurasian girl, the purity of which everyone everywhere wished they'd experienced in their own youth. Just absolute magic in every way. 

I knew straight off M83 were Fraserfarians, and my instincts were right.

Passion Pit 'Little Secret' Another song so perfect you really never need to write another. They did, of course. I like a lot of their other stuff but this hits all my special places and makes them all juicy and tingly and stuff. And we talked about those cheerleader chants, didn't we?  

The Rapture 'Love is All' I bought this album just for this song. Was the rest of it as memorable? I don't remember. I can say that this reminds me of something Television might have recorded if Television could write actual songs and not just forty-minute guitar workouts. Also kind of like Neil Young, when he actually was young and not a tool.

Son of Sam 'Stray' I like this entire album, which has Davey Havok of AFI teaming up with people from the Samhain/Danzig orbit, but nothing grabs me by the short 'n' curlies like this track. Just a killer, killer song, with a bunch of killer riffs and truly phenomenal drumming. I love that feel when a band is playing so fast they feel like they're going airborne.

Modest Mouse 'Float On' I wish they changed the title because everyone knows there can be only one 'Float On.' It's like calling your song 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.' It's just wrong. 

Love this anyway, despite the sacrilege. Particularly the lyrics, which are likely autobiographical. 'A Day in the Life' of Isaac Brock, if you will.

I Love You, But I've Chosen Darkness 'The Owl' This video seriously fucks my shit up, but I can't help but play it over and over and over when the mood strikes. It's terrifying and insanely disturbing precisely because it's actually not about birds at all. It's about bad things being done to someone in a vulnerable position, like everything else I obsess over. 

I had a really fucked-up childhood. Remind me not to tell you about it sometime.

Steel Panther, 'Death to All but Metal' Steel Panther is for those who thinks The Darkness are too serious and intellectually demanding. Careful, though: simply just watching this video will get you canceled in many jurisdictions.

Radiohead, 'Pyramid Song' I used to like Kid A and Amnesiac quite a lot but then I realized that that was Radiohead's permanent new style and not just a refreshing and temporary diversion. I hate very few things with a blind, murderous passion more than the old bait-and-switch routine with bands, having been down that unhappy road with The Clash. If I wanted Autechre records I would buy Autechre records, Thom. Stay in your fucking lane. 

Still, I'll include this video to commemorate my former Radiohead fandom and the happy days before their records started sounding like smoke alarms that need new batteries. And who doesn't like a nice piano number with pretty string arrangements?

Brand New 'Jesus Christ' A great track with early Cure influence to spare. The only problem is that I'm afraid it will be the epitaph of millions of Millennials. Fuck this century. 

Sideways, with a rake.

• 

Tell me what rocked your socks in 2000s. Then head over to the Nook and check out my big sale on vintage vinyl. I'm doing some spring cleaning and will consider all serious offers, so take advantage while supplies last.